Thursday, September 11, 2014

Poem by Haia Ahmad

In my poem I decided to write about everyone's reaction to Phillipe Petite's walk across the Twin Towers. I tried to make the last words in each line rhyme. I managed to make enjammed and also end-stopped lines. When I revised it, I made the lines shorter, but also added more. When doing this, I ended up making more enjammed lines. Lastly, I fixed my punctuation.



Dreams to Live
August 6th will always be a great day to reminisce.
“Life was not conceivable without doing this,”
Phillip Petite said before his dream was completed.
After months it had finally succeeded.
One thing was for sure, he nurtured history.
His determination was no mystery.
45 minutes, 8 crossings, 1 inch cable,
Everyone thinking he was unable,
Yet that did not change his decision to walk.
Spinning and dancing in the sky, looking like a hawk.
The Twin Towers now made everyone to remember.
1974, no one could ever forget this number.

“I thought it was once in a lifetime”
How people thought of his “crime.”
After his performance they admired him.
Everyone wished to be that brave, big or slim.
Philippe capturing his dream was what meant most.
His determination deserves a toast.

3 comments:

  1. Hiya, I really liked your rhyme scheme. It was really catchy and the beat helped keep the readers attention! I liked your use of en-jammed lines in your poem because it creates a natural "flow" of voice.

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  2. I really enjoyed reading your peom Hiya! I liked how well it flowed and how you had just enough rhyme, it wasn't too much, but just right!! Good job! I really enjoyed it!

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  3. I like the rhyme scheme, it was super creative and your poem is so good

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