Thursday, September 11, 2014

Emilia- Among the Birds

When I first started writing this poem I honestly just wrote down random lines to sequence what happened in Phillipe's journey to tight rope between the Twin Towers. Then I added in quotes that were said by Phillipe and other people in the video in the lines to show what was going on.I used a lot of weird spacing and structure to make the poem more effective too. When I made my revisions I added a metaphore, and added a stanza about how I have to go after my dreams like Phillipe. But the major revision I made is that in my original poem there was a stanza that had a bunch of number that described how high up and how long everything was and I ended up taking those individual lines and scattering them within the other stanzas.

Among the Birds
A dream “emerged”
Impossible? No.
              on a 1 inch cable line

8 months to prepare
The seventh day of August, 1974
A dream was made
                          a reality
             one quarter mile sky high
 New Yorkers “spellbound”
For a man became
                          “One among the birds”
               for 45 minutes

Dancing, jumping, lying down
               across 130 feet

It was the calm before the storm

Restrained only to be released
For a man became
                             a legend

Because of the need for
                             “dreams to live”

For now I too, have the desire to be
                                “One among the birds”

1 comment:

  1. I really like your poem, I feel like we have similar poems. I also use conventions like dialogue and stanzas. I probably should have added more stanzas to my poem like yours.


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